Divorce Mediation: Why Does Divorce Tend to Run in Families?

As a divorce mediator, I deal with many couples whose parents have also been divorced. There is no doubt that divorce tends to run in families, but it is not entirely clear why this happens. For decades, most counselors and therapists in this arena have believed that it is due to adult children role-modeling the behaviors of their parents. [Read more…]

Divorce Mediation: How Long-Term Disability Insurance Protects Families during a Divorce

In the past, I have discussed the importance of having life insurance in a divorce settlement, particularly to protect spouses and children who depend heavily on support payments to stay financially solvent. This month, I want to touch on another type of policy that is closely related to life insurance: long-term disability. [Read more…]

New Jersey Supreme Court Sets New Standard for Child Relocation

In what has been called a “landmark” decision, the NJ Supreme Court has reversed nearly two decades of precedent by ruling that the relocation of children during divorce must be based on the best interests of the child. In a previous ruling from 2001, the court held that a custodial parent could move a child out of state as long as the move did not cause harm to the child.  [Read more…]

The Role Fear Plays in Divorce

I have yet to have met a divorcing couple who doesn’t have fear. Fear of what?

“What will happen to me in the future?”

“What will happen to my children?”

“How can I afford to live on my own?”………..

The list goes on and on.  One of the  important things to me as a Professional Divorce Mediator is to make sure my clients are not making decisions from a place of fear. Although the divorce mediation process gives divorcing couples a chance to [Read more…]

Divorce Mediation is Not Just About Saving Money

Divorce mediation is an affordable and flexible alternative to traditional litigation, which is why a growing number of couples are choosing this option. Mediation is not just for people who “cannot afford an attorney” however. In my practice, I work with many high net worth couples who want to maintain more control over the outcome of their divorce, and do not want to spend their hard-earned cash on exorbitant attorney fees. [Read more…]

When is a Good Time to Start Divorce Mediation?

For many divorcing spouses, mediation can be an affordable and time-saving alternative to costly and protracted litigation. There is a common misconception, however, about when to start divorce mediation. Many believe that they must have everything worked out first before beginning the process.

Recently, I received a call from someone looking to come in with their spouse to begin mediation. He said, “We are almost in agreement on the last issue, so we are almost ready to come in”. [Read more…]

If Jen & Ben Affleck Can Mediate Their Divorce, So Can You!

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner recently filed for divorce, but as People Magazine reports, they have chosen to officially represent themselves in the filing, and handle the dissolution of their marriage as amicably as possible. I applaud them for using divorce mediation, and for choosing to keep the details of their divorce private.

Divorce mediation is becoming increasingly mainstream, even among high net worth couples such as Ben and Jen and other celebrities. Gone are the days when it is assumed that saving money is the only reason to consider mediation. [Read more…]

How Should You Celebrate your Children’s Birthdays After a Divorce?

As a divorce mediator, I work closely with couples to develop a settlement that works best for them. And when I begin working with a divorcing couple who have children, the first thing I do is establish a parenting plan. I do this first for a number of reasons.

First of all, I like to start with a topic in which the parents are likely to be on the same page; after all, nearly every parent wants what is best for their children. Secondly, children are not “negotiables”, and I do not allow them to be negotiated for anything. [Read more…]

Divorce Can Create Stronger Family Values

I am a true believer that when divorce is approached in a thoughtful and reasonable way, there can definitely be positive outcomes. It’s all a matter of how two people go about it and what their end goals are. One of the things I love most about being a divorce mediator is that I get to work with couples in a way that will enable them to strengthen their family bonds rather than pull them apart.  [Read more…]

Divorce Issues Are Not Really About the Law

Divorce is technically a legal proceeding, and once it is completed, the state recognizes the marriage as dissolved. But although the process is legal, the issues within a divorce have less to do with the law, and more to do with other factors. Among them include emotions, finances, and personal circumstances. [Read more…]